Hindsight
by ShadeSpirit
Summary: Oneshot. Songfic. Green eyes widened, watching as his lover suddenly took a breath to speak, perfectly sculpted lips parting to speak the lifeshattering words. 'It’s over, Kurama.'


_The ashes falling from the sky,_

_Looks like snow, makes me want to cry._

Kurama stood, hands stuffed into the pockets of his dark green trench coat. The streets were littered with white, and still more fell around him. Despite the coat and thick clothing he was wearing, the sharp wind cut through him like a knife, wrapping him in its cruel embrace. Another stood in front of him, a distance of three feet between them. But to Kurama, that three feet signaled miles that he could never cross.

_Traveling in my car surrounded by steel,_

_A rainy autumn night controls my steering wheel._

_The asphalt burns to touch, the glass is sharp with fear,_

_The distant lights of civilization, sirens drawing near._

Kurama thought he had hardened his heart enough. He knew this day would eventually come, but all his mind could scream was, "Not now! It's too soon!" The air that surrounded him and the other seemed charged and tense, silent with expectation and despair. There was no one around, though from this high hill Kurama could distantly see the lights of the city glowing in the growing dusk, calling him home to the warmth that was there. But never love, never again. His love stood before him, making alarms ring off in his mind and heart. He knew why his lover had called him here, but all he could do was deny it to himself.

_If I could breathe, I would breathe me into you._

_But my lungs are filled, there's nothing I can do._

_I'll just sit idly by and watch you slip away,_

_While I realize the life I lost today._

Kurama found he couldn't move. His lover simply stood there watching him with eyes that he had never been able to read. He began to fill a bit light-headed, then realizing he had been holding his breath. It couldn't come to this, it wouldn't. It was a dream, all a mistake, it had to be. Green eyes widened, watching as his lover suddenly took a breath to speak, perfectly sculpted lips parting to speak the life-shattering words. "It's over, Kurama."

_You know what they say,_

_Hindsight's twenty/twenty anyway._

_You know what they say,_

_Hindsight's twenty/twenty anyway._

_Looking back I wish I had done_

_All the things that you thought were fun._

Time seemed to stop for Kurama, every stolen moment as fragile as a butterfly's wing. All he could do was run over all the things he should have done, could have done, to prevent this day. He knew he worked a lot in school and often didn't have time for his lover, who was often working in Makai. Any time Kurama was free, his lover wasn't, and vice versa. He should have tried harder, his heart protested. But his mind had blocked any of the consequences. "It could never happen," he always told himself. Yet it has. Time sped up once more, his lover's expressive lips turning into a frown. Then all Kurama could do was watch as Hiei turned away, walking towards the now open portal that would whisk him home to Makai.

_Oh no, I have become one of the walking dead,_

_I guess it's all because I didn't say the things I should have said_

_To you,_

_And now we're through_

_And now I'm not so tough._

_Because I died that night in that car crash called love._

Once Hiei was gone, Kurama felt his knees give way, leaving him kneeling in the pitiless snow. Why? Why did he have to come here this day at Hiei's request? He knew it would happen. How could he not, with that cold feeling that had spread through his gut? But he had denied it to himself, convinced himself that it was something else. With a muffled sob, he picked himself up to make his way unsteadily towards his car that would take him home to that cold and empty room.

_You know what they say,_

_Hindsight's twenty/twenty anyway._

_You know what they say,_

_Hindsight's twenty/twenty anyway._

_Looking back I wish I had done_

_All the things that you thought were fun._

All he could do as he drove home was be filled with regret and wonder over and over, "Why?" as the tears of sorrow and loneliness dripped down his cheeks to wet the fabric of his jacket.

_Why'd we have to take that road that day?_

_Now it's over, underground we're safe._

_

* * *

_Hey all! I know I haven't added on to any of my other stories. I think I may just delete them. I like my one-shots so much better because there's no real obligation to write more. Anyway, I was thinking over one of Last November's songs, called Hindsight obviously, and I just had this idea that needed to be written down. They have a myspace page, so check them out, ok? They're a really good band and could use support from fans. Anyway, this is a yaoi, my first. Please review and tell me what you think? Flames are welcome as well, because they let me know what needs fixing. Just don't blast me about the yaoi. I happen to support it, and I won't change my views on it. 

Signing out,

Shade


End file.
